Sunday, 1 September 2013
.....I don't like Mondays.......
Midnight has struck, and with the last chime, my life has changed irrevocably.
Until now, the thought of not returning to work could be pushed deep into the darker recesses of my mind, as the daily humdrum filled my waking moments. But as Monday approaches and the house will once again be still and silent; the realisation that I won't be rushing out of the door, laptop in hand, ready to do battle with whatever the day brings, is suddenly a very daunting prospect.
For so many years I have been defined by what I do, not only by others, but also by myself. I have breathed my work into every corner of my life; so now I find myself struggling to redefine who I am. I catch myself composing emails, and planning to do lists in my head; only to be pulled up short as I realise that this is no longer my responsibility, there is no one to email, nothing more to do.
Time stretches before me, to be filled with the promise of fresh starts , new horizons, greater challenges....... but my confidence is gone, and the thought of taking a risk fills me with a cold dread.
If this were Wonderland, an innocuously labelled cake would point me in the right direction; well either that or an enigmatic cat, grinning from ear to ear.....but as of yet, I am left searching for a glimpse of the elusive white rabbit.